Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize
