did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
