Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
