you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
