I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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