I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
