what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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