pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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