I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
