Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
