I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Never let your siblings swipe right.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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