Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
