If i could tip my vagina, i would.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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