At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize