What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
