A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I fill condoms, not promises.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
