She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
