The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
