I swear she didn't look like that last week.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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