the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
