I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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