Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
