I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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