I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
