He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
