Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
