well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
