he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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