I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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