i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
