I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
