I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
