call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
