I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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