Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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