so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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