morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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