I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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