he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
