Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Randomize
