i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
