i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
