then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
