Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
