I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
