How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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