Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
