Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
