no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
