We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
