I puked a lego.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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