Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
