I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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