you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
