Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
