some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Randomize
