Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize