so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
