Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
