Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
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I need you to use more vowels.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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