Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
