i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
