You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
