I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
