Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
