He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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