You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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